How American parenting is killing the
American marriage
WRITTEN
BY
I
was on face book and a first time mother had posted a picture of her one month
old baby and talked about how much she loved her baby. Her husband made this
comment under the picture, “I can honestly say there is one girl that I love
more than my wife’.
A
few post down someone else posted this article which caught my attention. The
article is about parents putting their children before their marriage and the
negative consequence that follow. This article claims that people are elevating
parenting to the status of a religion. This next paragraph describes how one
person who spoke openly about putting her marriage first has been treated.
To
understand the frightening power of the parenthood religion, one need look no
further than the 2005 essay in The New York Times by Ayelet Waldman, where the author explained
that she loved her husband more than her four children. On “Oprah Where
Are They Now,” the author recently reaffirmed the sentiments reflected in her
New York Times article, and she added that her outlook has had a positive
impact on her children by giving them a sense of security in their parents’
relationship.
Following the publication of her essay, Waldman was not only shouted down by America
for being a bad mother; strangers threatened her physically and told her that
they would report her to child protective services. This is not how a civil society conducts
open-minded discourse. This
is how a religion persecutes a heretic.”
The
article itself was interesting and in my opinion presented both cogent and fallacious perspectives.
I have included the link if anyone is interested. But the observation that
sparked my attention was the last two sentences about how
civil society conducts open-minded discourse.
I believe this sentences to be cogent because that is what this
whole class has been about, learning how to have open-minded discourse. Learning to allow other people to speak about
things we might not agree with. Learning how to be open-minded enough to hear
what they say and consider the validity of their argument. To be aware of
attitudinal responses and develop a provisional perspective through critical
thinking. And it was interesting to see it all taking place on my Facebook
feed. Thanks Prof Young for an
insightful, enlightening, and thought provoking class.
I think this a case of moderation. When I got married, I quickly realized that life was no longer all about me. This realization was increased ten fold when we had our first child. Now, with 3 I know that my attention and love needs to be divided. I don't get upset or offended when my wife doesn't have time for me if she is busy taking care of the kids. I get it. They demand and need our care and attention. That being said, we try to take some time for each other as well, however infrequent that may be. We need that and I think our kids need that sometimes. We certainly don't neglect our children to spend time with each other or vice versa.
ReplyDeleteAs for not being able to say anything bad about or children as we tend to with other family members; There are going to be many places and instances where our kids can find belittling comments, they shouldn't come from one of the few places they should feel safe and loved. This does not mean of course that we can't be honest with our kids or honest about their weaknesses and help them overcome them.
Interesting article
Where is the like button? These blogs should have one. Interesting article. I believe that if spouses put each other first, then their children's needs will all fall into place and they will be taken care of.
ReplyDelete